Nobody is perfect, We make mistakes, we just gotta learn from our mistakes.
treat the people you love, the way you wanna be loved........
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monday, August 23, 2010
My Mother
My mother was an amazing woman, to me she is the definition of an independent woman who lives, a woman who fights, a woman who loves. And she does everything while caring for me and my sister, believe me it wasn't easy, but thats another story, for now is all about my lovely mother. My mother was the eldest of 4 kids, she had 2 brothers and the youngest of all is my Aunt whom i'm staying with at the moment. As a kid, i remember hearing some stories from her childhood when she was still in school, my mom would get up early in the morning and do everything herself, she would iron her clothes, prepare her stuff and also make breakfast for my uncle, her brother and everyone else in the house, then she would leave for school. After school my mom would go and help out at my grandfathers coffee shop or 'kopitiam' as they would call it then. Then she would go home and continue with her own studies and stuff. Sometimes my mom would also help out with the household chores. She was truly a superwoman even at a young age. As time passed by, she grew into a beautiful woman with an angelic heart and caring soul. when i was born my mom would take care of me 24/7. I would keep her awake as i did not sleep for very long like a baby would, i would cry very often and i wouldn't drink my milk, eventually my mom had to switch to MIlo to make me eat haha, I was a difficult one compared to my sister, she would sleep all day long, just eating then sleeping a really cute chubby little girl my sis, haha, while i was like a monkey thin and scrawny little monkey, haha. As time passed by we became very close to my mom, she taught us all the right from the wrong, she taught us the good from the bad everything was fine, and we we living a happy life.
Then, i can't remember which year it was but i think it was 1998, my mum discovered she had Cancer, It was devastating news to all of us,She was referred to a doctor in singapore and my mom had to go through an operation to remove a cyst in her ovaries, and also she had to go through chemotherapy, it was a real torture for her, the side effect really drained her energy, she was tired, sick and it was a really sad sight to see a woman who was such a happy, strong person looking so weak and tired. But although she was going through hell, my mom did not give up, she kept fighting, she even could laugh and smile even though i knew she was hurting on the inside, she kept going and pushing forward. It was truly inspiring for me to see her fight so hard like that, and she was doing it for me and my sister. So fast forward to a year later, my mom was now in a stable condition and only visited the doctor every month or so and taking medicine everything was almost normal again. (Oh i forgot to mention, all this time, we were still staying in Malaysia and my mom had to come out to Singapore for all the doctor's appointments.)
Year 2000 it was early in the year, when another sad news surfaced and shook our lives, my Kidneys had failed, i was really shocked,depressed and sad when i heard the news, and so was my dear mother, she was so shocked she broke into tears when the doctor told her that i had kidney failure. I was 12 at that time, and it was really hard to accept for me, but my mom told me that no matter what happens she will be there to take care of me, and at this time she was still a Cancer patient, I remembered when i was admitted in the hospital for 3 to 4 months, my mom was always beside me, 24/7, only leaving my side to go to the bathroom. She slept beside me took care of my every need, it was really no easy task. Fastforward again 1 year everything was ok again, i was now on dialysis and my mom was now working in Singapore and i was schooling in Singapore also. We were staying with my aunt, my mom's youngest sister, and everything was fine.
The Year 2004, the year which changed my life forever.
My mom had a relapse for a year now, and she was undergoing treatment again, she was now weaker than ever and she kept telling me and my sis that we have to be independent, that its the facts that she may not live long enough to see us grow up, but as every child would, we told her not to say stuff like that, and that she will be there to see our children, her grandchildren, and us getting married and all that stuff. But we were wrong. I remember it was a Saturday morning, we had someone over to take care of my mom. I was woken up and the helper told me that my mom wanted to talk to me, my mom also told my aunt to get my sister back from school immediately, and so my aunt did so. It was very tense situation, my mom was talking all sorts of things like we had to take care of ourselves and that she cant hold on much longer, then my sis arrived and she said the same eerie stuff. She also said the most eerie thing i've ever heard in my life, she said and i quote
" they have arrived, , they want me to go with them" so i said " no tell them you need to stay, you still need to be there for us", and she replied," No, they said i can't", then an hour later she went into a kind of semi-conscious state and was never herself again. It was the most saddest time of my entire life, seeing my dearest mother slowly fading away, but she still held on for 2 weeks after that, drifting in and out of that state of semi consciousness, then the her battle with Cancer came to an end, i remember very clearly what happened, i remeber leaving the hospital on saturday night with a weird feeling in my heart, like something wasn't right, i felt like it was the last time i would see my mom, i can't explain it, it was just a very weird feeling. So we went home and everyone went to sleep. Then, 5:45am a phone call, its my uncle, i was still asleep then, then i was woken up by my aunt, she broke the news to me, she said mom is gone already,i just stood there, i did not know what to do, or what to say, i just stood there and said "oh ok". We made our way to the hospital. When we arrived i saw everyone standing outside of her room, i slowly walked towards the room, when i entered there was a feeling of dread, sadness, and i did not shed a tear yet since i heard the news, i was just shocked and speechless. So i walked into the room, turned a corner and saw my moms lifeless body on the hospital bed, she looked so peaceful, it was like she was finally getting the rest she needed after so long of fighting, i walked towards her, then i placed my hands on hers, her stone cold skin took me by surprised, it was then that i realised that, my mom, my dearest mother whom i loved and cherished, the person who brought me up, and taught me all that i know, is GONE, FOREVER, i broke into tears and fell into her arms crying, questioning why, why did she have to go so quickly, why did god have to take her away. WHY?WHY?WHY? is the only question going through my head. i was devastated......her hand still in mine i slowly let go of her soft hands and kissed her on her forehead and i said to her, "Dear mummy, don't worry bout me and Cheryl(my sister), i will be a good boy and take care of cheryl, u should go in peace, don't worry, you will always be in my heart, and i love you always, I LOVE U MUMMY." I walked out slowly and that was the last time i ever held my mothers soft hands. This is the story of my mom's life, on how she fought and lived, on how she loved and cared, all i want to say to everyone out there is, Treasure what you have now, for you never know when you will lose the people you love. Always tell the person you love, that you love them, and don't take them for-granted. I have made a vow to myself that i'm going to share with whoever i can the love shown to me by my mother and also what she has taught me to remember her, for i know in my heart, that my mother lives on within me.
In loving memory of Jennifer Chua Seok Kim
My world, My angel, My Mummy
18 January 1959 - 11 July 2004
Then, i can't remember which year it was but i think it was 1998, my mum discovered she had Cancer, It was devastating news to all of us,She was referred to a doctor in singapore and my mom had to go through an operation to remove a cyst in her ovaries, and also she had to go through chemotherapy, it was a real torture for her, the side effect really drained her energy, she was tired, sick and it was a really sad sight to see a woman who was such a happy, strong person looking so weak and tired. But although she was going through hell, my mom did not give up, she kept fighting, she even could laugh and smile even though i knew she was hurting on the inside, she kept going and pushing forward. It was truly inspiring for me to see her fight so hard like that, and she was doing it for me and my sister. So fast forward to a year later, my mom was now in a stable condition and only visited the doctor every month or so and taking medicine everything was almost normal again. (Oh i forgot to mention, all this time, we were still staying in Malaysia and my mom had to come out to Singapore for all the doctor's appointments.)
Year 2000 it was early in the year, when another sad news surfaced and shook our lives, my Kidneys had failed, i was really shocked,depressed and sad when i heard the news, and so was my dear mother, she was so shocked she broke into tears when the doctor told her that i had kidney failure. I was 12 at that time, and it was really hard to accept for me, but my mom told me that no matter what happens she will be there to take care of me, and at this time she was still a Cancer patient, I remembered when i was admitted in the hospital for 3 to 4 months, my mom was always beside me, 24/7, only leaving my side to go to the bathroom. She slept beside me took care of my every need, it was really no easy task. Fastforward again 1 year everything was ok again, i was now on dialysis and my mom was now working in Singapore and i was schooling in Singapore also. We were staying with my aunt, my mom's youngest sister, and everything was fine.
The Year 2004, the year which changed my life forever.
My mom had a relapse for a year now, and she was undergoing treatment again, she was now weaker than ever and she kept telling me and my sis that we have to be independent, that its the facts that she may not live long enough to see us grow up, but as every child would, we told her not to say stuff like that, and that she will be there to see our children, her grandchildren, and us getting married and all that stuff. But we were wrong. I remember it was a Saturday morning, we had someone over to take care of my mom. I was woken up and the helper told me that my mom wanted to talk to me, my mom also told my aunt to get my sister back from school immediately, and so my aunt did so. It was very tense situation, my mom was talking all sorts of things like we had to take care of ourselves and that she cant hold on much longer, then my sis arrived and she said the same eerie stuff. She also said the most eerie thing i've ever heard in my life, she said and i quote
" they have arrived, , they want me to go with them" so i said " no tell them you need to stay, you still need to be there for us", and she replied," No, they said i can't", then an hour later she went into a kind of semi-conscious state and was never herself again. It was the most saddest time of my entire life, seeing my dearest mother slowly fading away, but she still held on for 2 weeks after that, drifting in and out of that state of semi consciousness, then the her battle with Cancer came to an end, i remember very clearly what happened, i remeber leaving the hospital on saturday night with a weird feeling in my heart, like something wasn't right, i felt like it was the last time i would see my mom, i can't explain it, it was just a very weird feeling. So we went home and everyone went to sleep. Then, 5:45am a phone call, its my uncle, i was still asleep then, then i was woken up by my aunt, she broke the news to me, she said mom is gone already,i just stood there, i did not know what to do, or what to say, i just stood there and said "oh ok". We made our way to the hospital. When we arrived i saw everyone standing outside of her room, i slowly walked towards the room, when i entered there was a feeling of dread, sadness, and i did not shed a tear yet since i heard the news, i was just shocked and speechless. So i walked into the room, turned a corner and saw my moms lifeless body on the hospital bed, she looked so peaceful, it was like she was finally getting the rest she needed after so long of fighting, i walked towards her, then i placed my hands on hers, her stone cold skin took me by surprised, it was then that i realised that, my mom, my dearest mother whom i loved and cherished, the person who brought me up, and taught me all that i know, is GONE, FOREVER, i broke into tears and fell into her arms crying, questioning why, why did she have to go so quickly, why did god have to take her away. WHY?WHY?WHY? is the only question going through my head. i was devastated......her hand still in mine i slowly let go of her soft hands and kissed her on her forehead and i said to her, "Dear mummy, don't worry bout me and Cheryl(my sister), i will be a good boy and take care of cheryl, u should go in peace, don't worry, you will always be in my heart, and i love you always, I LOVE U MUMMY." I walked out slowly and that was the last time i ever held my mothers soft hands. This is the story of my mom's life, on how she fought and lived, on how she loved and cared, all i want to say to everyone out there is, Treasure what you have now, for you never know when you will lose the people you love. Always tell the person you love, that you love them, and don't take them for-granted. I have made a vow to myself that i'm going to share with whoever i can the love shown to me by my mother and also what she has taught me to remember her, for i know in my heart, that my mother lives on within me.
In loving memory of Jennifer Chua Seok Kim
My world, My angel, My Mummy
18 January 1959 - 11 July 2004
An Inspirational poem....
The Victor
Poet: C.W. Longenecker
Poet: C.W. Longenecker
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can
Sunday, August 22, 2010
What's LIFE?
Well this is a question which has many answers, my answer to Life is, there is no answer, its how YOU want life to be. Life is a journey, a journey for us to make mistakes and learn from them, making mistakes is what makes us humans, we are not born perfect, nobody is perfect in every way it is what makes us unique in our own way, emotionally, physically and mentally. So be happy with who you are and love yourself for everyone of us has a purpose in our own life. It is like playing a character in a game every character has a purpose, and it is our purpose to complete the journey and finish the game, no matter how tough the journey may seem. To me a persons journey in life, be it, good or bad, is what makes us who we are in our own unique way, so take the journey of life as a self identification journey to know who you really are deep inside and i hope it all turns out well for you as it has been for me.
Take care and Smile always! :)
Take care and Smile always! :)
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